I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
