I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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