I must be too annoying 4 u.
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
