but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
