too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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