Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
