Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
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