so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
