The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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