just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
