I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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