toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
