True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
