We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
