I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
