WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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