This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
