so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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