Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
