yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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