He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
