Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
