I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
