You really coming over, don't trick.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
