I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
