dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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