so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
