I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
