before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
