And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Sorry my hands just texted you
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
