we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Randomize
