omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
