so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
