'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
