The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Randomize
