How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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