I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize