you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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