My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
