Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
