I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
