And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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