ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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