Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize