best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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