I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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