Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Randomize
