Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
