This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
