He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize