I wish i was in the wii world.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
