I've blown a few things in my day
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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