I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
