I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
