That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
These tits shall not be calmed
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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