The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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