We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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