yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
