told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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