My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize