So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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