So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Randomize
