Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
