My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
