normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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