so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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