She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
